Till Then, My Beloved
by x49911119
Summary: Prequel of 'To Whom This May Concern'. SxH


_To Whom This May Concern_,

_This is a story of two people who's friendship become complex. Not all stories have a happy ending, and not all happy endings stay happy. _

_Please, prepare your heart and emotions for this tale,_

_for it may not seem what you think it may seem._

_**Till Then, My Beloved**..._

**.**

**.**

**.**

**C**old.

That's all he could feel right now.

The chill of the winter breeze against his body as he sat there, the faint sounds of his swing moving forward and backward, the darkness of the night engulfing him; Everything was cold, empty, _nostalgic_;

He tried his best to block away the memories as he attempted to control his body, shifting it to try and remove itself from the swings; but he couldn't.

Being there, in that park, made him think completely different about things, put him in a trance almost. This was where he had his firsts.

The first time he rode a swing, the first time he scrapped his knee, the first place he went to _escape _from everything;

Another mental block was preventing him from recalling his thoughts on her, but half of him was telling him it was time to face his demons. She had been brave enough to send him a letter, why couldn't he be brave enough to think about her again?

Dark hair loomed over the stoic face of the teenage boy as he brought his scarf higher up, resting just under his nose now. It was the same scarf she gave him before Thanksgiving.

It's January.

A discerned look made it's way on the handsome face of the boy now, his hands gripping harshly on the chains that held his swing intact.

Why did she have to send that damned letter?

Everything was going fine, he was slowly starting to forget her, slowly starting to deny himself of ever missing her-

But her courage, strength, and tenacity managed to find it's way through to him once more, and through words that he couldn't bear to read. But he did.

Coal eyes glared at a red envelope that was shoved in his coat pocket, the flap proudly open, displaying some of the written text he had read almost an hour ago.

Time seemed to be notorious for going by quickly when you're reminiscing about the past.

But...was it really the past he was thinking about, or the present?

The boy continued to stare at the letter as his mind started to fill with some of it's contents that rekindled a flame that he long put out.

Words such as _forget_, _scared_, _trust_, _**love**_-

The red envelope slowly started to turn to a blur as tears silently made its way down his flushed cheeks, his glare no longer staining his flawless face. Sorrow filled his heart as the pang of regret reemerged throughout his system, the feeling so familiar to the kind he felt when he broke of all ties with her.

He was dull,

miserable,

_weak,_

without her.

In all reality, no matter how many times he'd deny it to himself or anybody else, he needed her.

No,

he _still_ needs her.

But what's a person to do, when the one you so longingly wish for, completely and utterly despises you?

After all the things he's done to her...

Ignoring her, avoiding her, _hurting her_;

he might as well of have been the one who stole her sister away from her after causing equally as much pain as she did that day.

They were so similar; losing the one person that understood them most, the closest person who knew everything about them and completely and utterly adored;

He was to Itachi, like she was to Hanabi.

It was foolish of him of how childishly he acted when she needed him. He tried to be the firm one.

He was tired always being soft around her, the feeling of his masculinity slowly starting to fade. He thought that maybe, he could be the strong one and let her be. He thought it would be best to trust her to mourn by herself in her own way, him constantly avoiding her so that she had enough time to collect her thoughts. That's what he would have liked.

But that was the thing,

she _wasn't_ him.

He made the horrible decision of letting her be alone, no one else understanding her well enough to talk about her thoughts, leaving her only to herself.

What was worse was that the boy had been so used to not being with her any longer after giving her the space he thought she needed, that he adjusted himself without her.

Eventually, he ignored all her advances and concluded that it was easier to just forget about everything and not deal with her any longer, telling each other about everything that happened in between their hiatus together, only to be a complicated manner.

So, he erased her.

Or so he thought.

He could never _not_ think about her. She always lingered in his mind,

her laugh, her smile, her corny jokes, her cute tendencies;

A heavy breath came from the boy's lips as he rubbed the palm of his hand against his eyes, wiping away his eyes gently.

He was cowardly, immature, and stupid.

He was supposed to be there to protect her,

but only added more fuel to the flame.

A low hiccup erupted from his chest as he tried to calm his nerves, a pen and pad in hand.

This was for the best.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: If you're still confused about this, let me explain it a little bit.

Sasuke and Hinata's friendship lasted from the beginning of the first semester of their Junior year, to the beginning of the Second semester.

First, I put it so that Itachi and Hanabi were both deceased. This shows that Sasuke and Hinata shared similar experiences of the death of the one's they love, but also shows that they express their grief differently. Sasuke thought it would have been best to just leave Hinata to recollect her thoughts and just leave her alone for that's what he wished others would have done. Miss-communication occurred and Hinata thought Saske had long abandoned her when she needed someone the most. Sasuke wanted to be alone when he was grieving, but Hinata needed someone to comfort her. This is what first tore them apart.

Sasuke avoiding, ignoring, just totally disregarding Hinata's existence is what truly deepened the tear to eventually break them apart.

Hinata wanted to hear out Sasuke's initial feelings of why he did what he did, but like he did before, Sasuke said in his letter to her before that it would be best that their friendship would best be known as a '_pleasant memory_'.

...

I'm still contemplating whether or not I should write Hinata's thoughts and feelings while writing her letter, or just keep this as a cliff hanger ;)

I hope you enjoyed!

**R&R**!


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